Chankya's Qoutes
(Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC 75BC)





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"A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first andHonest people are screwed first."
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"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
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"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. ! It will destroy you."
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"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is nofriendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
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"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions -Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful.Only whenyou think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
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"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it." ***************************************************
"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman." ***************************************************
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failureand don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
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"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction."
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"Whores don't live in company of poor men, citizens never support aweak company and birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits."Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275 BC)
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"God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul isyour temple."Chanakya quotes (Indian politician, strategist and writer, 350 BC-275BC) ***************************************************
"A man is great by deeds, not by birth."
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"Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness."
*************************************************** "Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like afriend. Your grown up children are your best friends."
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"Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to ablind person."
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"Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth."
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MEDICAL CLASS..

First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgerytable with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you should not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them,"The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Quiz: Lateral Thinking
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If you are good in lateral thinking, then you can be a good strategic thinker or... be a part of Think Tank. Here is an interesting quiz to test your Lateral Thinking abilities --- Think!

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work.Upon returning from work though, he can only
travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why?

(This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying. )

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2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says,

"I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can this be?

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3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off.


A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

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4. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.

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5. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?

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6. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.

(This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of figuring it out. )
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SOLUTIONS
1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However,if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

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2. The surgeon was his mother.

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3. It was day time.

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4. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

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5. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man Drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.


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6.. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.

SOME FUNNY LINES...

Na Ye Chemistry Hoti


Na Ye Chemistry Hoti , Na Mein Student Hota
Na Ye Lab. Hoti Na Ye Accident Hota
Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Larki
Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi
Baton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi
Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi
Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha Kuch Is Taranh Ka Pyaar
Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha Alcohol Ka Khumar
Benzene Sa Hota Tha Uski Presence Ka Ehsas
Andhere Mein Hota Tha Radium Ka Abhas
Nazrein Mileen, Reaction Hua
Kuch Is Taranh Love Ka Production Hua
Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise
Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise
Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua
Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua
Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pare
Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bharak Uthe
Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat
Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath
Ye Sum Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker
Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Karwa Ghoont Pi Kar
Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha
Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta Na Tha
Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Taranh
Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan

R u a coffee bean???

Carrot, Egg and Coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again...

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became
Hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they
Just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest
Future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in
Life until you let go of your past failures and heart aches. When you were
Born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you are smiling, and others feel the loss.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you (I JUST DID); to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life. If you don't send it, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message!

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult.

This is so true - may we all be COFFEE - strong coffee!!!

The joys of English!


There's no doubt English is a rather peculiar language. It's not just the way words are spelt and pronounced that's arbitrary but the rules of grammar and punctuation appear to exist only to be flouted.

We all know that B-U-T is but though P-U-T is put yet P-U-T-T sounds just like but. Why the extra ‘T’ should change the pronunciation of the 'U' is hard to explain. However add an ‘O’ or ‘I’ -- to make putto or putti -- and the pronunciation of the ‘U’ changes once again. Now change the last letter to a ‘Y’ -- to make putty -- and you've reversed the sound of the ‘U’!

English grammar and punctuation are riddled with similar inconsistencies. For instance, do you need a coma before an ‘and’? Should you write ‘a dog, a cat and a horse’ or ‘a dog, a cat, and a horse’? The answer is both are correct although Lynn Truss, the author of Eats, Shoots and Leaves, believes the coma before the ‘and’ -- the Oxford coma, as it’s called -- is redundant.

Much of this can be great fun. However, what I find most amusing is the origin of the phrases we use everyday. For instance, did you know that the expression ‘it will cost you an arm and a leg’ lies in 18th century portrait painting? Apparently, at the time the price charged depended on how many limbs were shown in the painting. The more arms and legs in the picture, the more the work involved and the higher the cost. Hence the phrase ‘it’ll cost you an arm and a leg’!

The phrase ‘minding your Ps and Qs’ has an equally interesting story behind it. In the days when beer was served in taverns in pints and quarts, barmaids had to keep a count of and distinguish between customers drinking in pints and those quaffing in quarts. In other words, she had to ‘mind her Ps and Qs’!

My favourite, however, is the explanation of the phrase ‘it’s cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’. I always thought it was lewd. The truth is quite otherwise. Hard as it may be to believe, the origin stretches back to the heyday of sailing ships. At the time, all ships carried iron canons which fired iron balls. Because it was necessary to keep a good supply of balls near the canon, a way had to be found to do so compactly and without the balls rolling around the deck. The initial answer was to stack them in a pyramid. This ensured they didn’t take up too much space but it still left the bottom row free to slide out from underneath. So a metal plate called a monkey was devised with round indentations to fit the balls. And to guard against the plate and balls rusting, it was made of brass. But brass contracts faster and further than iron in cold temperatures. So when the weather turned freezing, the indentations would shrink and the iron balls would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, ‘cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey’!

Even individual words have intriguing histories. For instance, we all gossip and, even those who deny it, enjoy doing so. But the origin of the word lies in the need politicians have for feedback from the public. Long before television or radio, politicians would send their assistants to taverns and pubs with the instruction “go sip some ale” and report on the conversations they heard. What they returned with came to be called ‘gossip’.

And guess how important people ended up as ‘big wigs’? It goes back to a time when men regularly wore wigs but that’s not all. The wealthy wore wigs made of wool which, if washed, would shrink or lose shape. So, when dirty, they were baked. The inside dough was scraped out of a large loaf of bread, the wig placed in the shell and baked for thirty minutes. The heat would make them large and fluffy. What emerged was literally a big wig. When worn it was proof the owner was wealthy and powerful.

Finally, do today’s chairmen know their designation has a rather literal origin? In the early 1700s most English homes could only afford a single chair. It was kept for the head of the household though the privilege was often shared with important guests. Consequently the ‘chairman’ was a man of significance. Incidentally, women were kept standing!
(Karan Thapar in Hindustan Times)

Choosing A Engineering Career



Well to most of us Indians , who are living in small towns and cities , the career usually appears in Black and White. One such B/W is choosing between engineering and medical. Nothing else is visible. As I choose engineering , i then faced another problem , greater than first. We have in our country perhaps thousands of engineering colleges, mostly of them third grade , no infrastructure and under staffed .
It seems afters IITs and barely few others , only their name contains any sort of engineering. So if u are not very brilliant than its a big problem. U are damm confused where to go. It is basically because there is not much data available of their quality. Diffrent surveys usually seems totally useless. It could have been much better if these surveys also told that what can u expect after 4 years from a particular branch of an engineering college. Like a common question is , which is better ,Civil from IIT or Computers from a second rung college? And this drives u crazy . More u ask people more u get confused.And there seems to be no difinte answer. And craziest thing is even if u choose anything, after four years u still can be wondering if u made a right decision !!

ANECDOTES
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#1 Meeting girl friend...
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ALIVE AND KICKING.......

A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''

The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''
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"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''


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#2 What women want?
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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question was: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man,
And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.
But, since it was better than death,
He accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:
The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester.
He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch,
For only she would have the answer.
But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.
The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch.
She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot,
The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table,
And Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified.
She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth,
Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.
He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.
He refused to force his friend to marry her and
endure such a terrible burden,
But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life.
And the preservation of the Round Table.
Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.
Arthur's question thus: "What a woman really wants?"
She said, "Is to be in charge of her own life."
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth.
And that Arthur's life would be spared.
And so it was.
The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.
And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and,
Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the
bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch,
She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time.
And the beautiful maiden the other half.
"Which would you prefer? She asked him.
"Beautiful during the day ... or at night?"
Lancelot pondered the predicament.
During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?




(If you are a man reading this...) What would YOUR choice be?
(If you are a woman reading this?) What would YOUR MAN'S choice be?
What Lancelot chose, is given below:
BUT... make YOUR choice before you scroll down below... OKAY?



Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,
He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time.
Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
Now... what is the moral to this story?



The moral is...
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don't let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.
So, always remember:
IT'S EITHER "HER WAY" OR IT'S "NO WAY" !!!

Puzzles :

1. There is a cubile jug full of water and that's all u have. Now empty it to EXACT half.

2. There are three boxes containing mangoes(M), oranges(O) and third containig both(B). All have labels but wrongly put. Now take out only one fruit from any of box and correctly tell which box has what.

3. One rope burns in exactly one hour. U have two such ropes. Burn them in exaclty 45 minutes.

4. Place 4 points , such that distances between any two points are same.

5. There are 9 gold coins, all same weight except one which is a bit lighter. And u have one balacing pan. In how much weighings can u seperate the lighter one.

6. A banana merchant want to cross a 1000 k.m. desert on his camel. He has 3000 bananas but his camel can carry only 1000 bananas at a time. Also it needs a banana after every k.m. travelled. Now how much maximum bananas can he transport to the other side of desert.